So photography is one of my passions and I put alot of time into it and sharing it in places like Facebook and here on my blog.
But today I am going off topic to just get a few things off my mind. I had a very good friend whom I use ride bikes with almost every weekend, who introduced me to my wife, who I shared a lot with over the years and who died a few years back.
Well, he sorta of died in a sense. To be precise, the person I knew did die but his body is still alive and kicking. He had a ruptured brain aneurysm which in turn led to a stroke that almost killed him in the shower. They got him to the hospital in time to save him but he spent weeks there, paralyzed on one side, till they moved him to a halfway house for more recovery. I went and saw him often at both places and I helped him go home. Success right? I mean he survived a terrible event and now is back home on his own. Yes and no, my friend is home but the essence of who my friend was is gone. The unmentioned fact about many brain injury victims is that their self, their personality, who they are will change or be lost completely and replaced by someone else.
I saw a special on cable about this and they said that it takes about three years for the family/friends to finally work this out. And it was true for me, it took about two years for me to understand that my friend really did die that day and while his body is still here and it looks and sounds like my friend, the essence of my friend, that part that really made him up was gone forever.
At one level I understand the mechanics of this but I feel guilty about breaking off the friendship. I knew this guy for years and he was there for me in a couple of bad times. So why can I not do the same? Because it’s not my friend anymore.. it’s someone who I really do not like very much. Someone who can be mean spirited and cruel at the drop of a hat. Someone who at times sounds like an echo of my friend till he goes off on me.
So every now and then I remember my friend and the good times we had and toast him in my mind. I have a few pictures of us together, I really wish I had more pictures. Take pictures of friends and family, takes lots of them and dont worry if they are not “professional”. They may be your only link with them if something terrible happens like this.